How are the USPS and Yankee fans the same?

15-2 you pansies... thats right 15-2. David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Trot Nixon and Jason Varitek combined for five homers and 12 RBIs on Tuesday to launch Boston to a 15-2 romp in Tampa Bay. Curt Schilling got the win with seven ace innings. Let me tell you it was wicked nice to see Tek and Trot finally break their year long slumps (hopefully).

And you know what Yankees fans that one was for you - and this post is for you. I've been doubting my team because they are as reliable as contraceptives in the time of Christ. You've been smiling as I've been cracking undah the pressure.

But Screw it - I'm going out on a freaking limb heah and I'm telling y'all its OVAH. This Octobah you'll be wondering how it is that you can't get a hot dog in the Bronx. I'll tell you why - The RED SOX (SPECIFICALLY ALEX "TRIPPLE" CORA). Thats it. ITS OVAH.

Sure you're ONLY 0.5 games back sure. I have my money on you sure. BUT WE'RE GOING TO TAKE IT TO YOU. A freaking sweep last series if need be but for gosh golly's sake I AM NOT WALKING AWAY WITHOUT A DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP. So look at it as if you saw the last bit of daylight... because it's all downhill from here.

Me and my basketweave hat and flannel shirt will take on your little fake world of 26 rings and your 200+ million dollah sallary team because as long as kids like Hansen and Alex Cora keep bringing their A game and Papi keeps hittin' his homahs while Millah and Kaplah stroke each othahs egos to keep the clubhouse vibe going we're going to WIN IT.

So, How are the USPS and Yankee fans the same?

They are both wicked slow.