Theology

I'm straight up Depressed. Hurt. Betrayed. Pissed off. And FREAKING SCARED. I mean my heart and chest actually HURT. I'M FEELING PAIN.

This is crap. I know all year I've been skeptical according to my companions - that I should soak winning up because it is OUR YEAR. Yet I doubted and doubted with good cause. I saw this coming but I was just too busy praying to the baseball gods that it wouldn't happen to really take into consideration the effect it would have on me.

Here we are with 0.5 games on the MFY's with only 12 freaking days left. HOW am I supposed to cope? With justification that this will rid of us of bandwagon fans? Who gives a shit about them. I hatet them but I want to win the division - if it means bandwaggon yuppies follow I dont care - it is worth it. Here I am in Faith and Society class learning about premillenial dispensationalism and realized eschatology thinking about the theories of Red Soxism instead. Maybe theologists should sit around theologizing when the Sox will win the division applying theories of the ages to come as when the Sox won the Series and the Division? What are our core teachings and beliefs? What shapes us as Sox fans - what do we lay loyal to? What sums up our acting? I'd say "Tessie". Yup thats right - the song. for as it hums:

Boston, you know we love you madly
Hear the crowd roar to your sound
Don't blame us if we ever doubt you
You know we couldn't live without you

Thats it. Thats us summed up right there. It really is true. We love the Sox more than we loved breast milk as children. Yet we know that sometimes its just going to let us down when Mommy hands us a bottle. But without it we're freaking toast.

Its so true that we really can't live with the Sox as this dedicated whole. There is a parallel in youth today who would rather slit their wrists and feel pain than not feel anything at all. Thats what watching the Sox is - it is slitting our wrists just enough to bleed and feel that pain while we pray it doesn't kill us.

So how do we as Sox fans see the rest of the year knowing this? To start lets look back on the season drawing a parallel to Organic Chemistry:

Our season is exactly like OChem class - It started out more turbulent than a Plane in a thunderstorm but than as the class (team) settled in I began to believe - hey maybe I can really do this!!! I understand the Molecular Orbital Theory and the way sigma and pi bonds form in complex organic molecules (HEY maybe Schill, Foulke, Wells can pitch and the offense will hang in !!!!) Than now at the sight of the test begin to wonder - OH SHIT maybe I don't have a clue what I'm talking about, maybe I'll fall apart (right we all saw Foulke's and Schilling's returns). It is at a point where it can go either way. Maybe I will hold it together!!! Maybe I will fall apart. But either way, it goes back to "Tessie" because even if I don't get an A on this test people will still stand by my side and will still "wuv" me.

Sox fans are acting like its over. As are Yankees fans - in both ways that is:
1. The Sox are through
2. The Yanks have no shot

The truth is that it is just the beginning. 12 games. Baltimore. Tampa Bay. Toronto. Each Other. Thats it. Yup thaaaaaaats it.

Here we are battered and bruised - held together by the ducttape called hope, with no off days, and everyone panicking. But here we go one last push, one last battle series. Breathe in, breathe out. Get me some ritilan and here we go. Its in front of us, its ours to win or lose. I pray it be the former but if its the later - my heart will cry out. I may yell I may throw things or make insane statements but by Boston before me I will NEVER EVER stop loving them.